7.09.2006

Everything will be OK!

First off I want to thank everyone for your prayers & support...we appreciate it so much.

Friday afternoon I started spotting. Didn't think it was too big of a deal but I knew to watch it & call the doctor. Saturday everything seemed fine until I got to the reception. Still a little bit of spotting. Tad bit more then the day before but the color was the same. Wade dropped me off at home around 11:30. Now the spotting was actually red not just pink and it was heavier. So I went to bed knowing that if I did go in to the ER there isn't anything they could do this early into the pregnancy. I had no cramping so I went to bed...after I cleaned Bella up from the burr tree that attacked her!! I woke up to severe cramping and a pounding headache at 2 am. I got up and things were not looking so good. I was in pain and decided I better go to the ER to confirm what I already knew was happening...I wanted to take drugs but didn't until I knew for sure. So I got Wade up and off we went. I decided to just go to Enumclaw thinking it could be faster since we were closer and I didn't want to drive to Auburn in that much pain...guess I shouldn't have thought that way since I would have drove there with labor pains...ok so I wasn't thinking to clear and Wade...well he just woke up and didn't really know what to think.
Got to the ER to find computers were down so check in would take longer but who cared we were there & the ONLY ones there...SHOCKER!
Well being the only ones there you would have thought things would have gone a little faster...NOPE. 5 hours later I was finally released to leave with the outcome that we already knew. I miscarried. What can you do? Nothing. So we went home and tried to sleep. Phone kept ringing so I gave up and got up and made the best of the day.
Today was Heidi's gift opening & I had the gift from the Preston's, Style Bar & McBride's. No way was she not getting her gift from us! Plus I needed something to keep my mind off things. If I don't stay busy I knew I would be a mess. So Wade, Mom & I headed up there. I'm glad we went. I wanted to say good bye to Scott's parents & see my sister get all the fun stuff for her home.
I did good & stayed stong. My nieces Brea & Ashley were so sweet. They both came and hugged me and told me they were sorry. To be 9 (happy b-day Ashley) and not truly understand the meaning of all this and too be so kind hearted about it...sure made me feel good. I told them it was ok and not too worry there would be another baby soon. Ashley said "I sure hope so." She loves babies and loves to hold them. I know she'll be a good cousin. But when it was time to go Wendy hugged me and gave me words of encouragement (as many others have done) and I had my breakdown. She has been thru 2 miscarriages herself so she can truly relate.
Overall Wade & I are doing just ok. Wade's been quiet and I can tell he is angry. I found my Baby Name book in the garbage. We all have to deal with it some way. As I said in our email we'll get thru this. I would rather it happen now then at 6 months. I know this is God's way of having baby angels for mom's in heaven to take care of. And also His way of telling us the time is not now or maybe not healthy enough. And that is ok too.
We will have a family someday when the time is right. But for now this is what we get to go thru. It will makes us stronger.
Thanks again for all your prayers, support & words of encouragement. We do appreciate each & everyone of you.
Love,
Trina & Wade

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Trina,

Was so, so sorry to hear the news of your miscarriage. I can only imagine what you are going through. Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers. And I think you have a wonderful, possitive attitude.

Thanks for including me in on the personal information- Can't wait to meet you at CE.

Also your sister is a beautiful bride!

Take care of yourself,
xoxo,Sherron

Shannon S said...

Love that picture. You all look so beautiful! You will continue to be in my thoughts.

Take care,
Shannon